A few of us set a race course for the Bonny Sosa Tuesday Night Race this last week, but due to municipal limitations, couldn’t do things like leave alcohol on trail, or run across illegal bridges. Plan on it being a wet, dirty, romping good time. Bring a change of clothes, or not, I’m not your mother.
WHO: going Down On A bull Moose and Uncle Bondage, Esquire
WHAT: B2H3 132: Bunny’s Soso Refux
WHEN: Saturday September 30 13:00 HA 13:30
WHERE: Tozier Track, across from the Blue Fox
WHY: not enough alcohol on the race course on Tuesday
A-A, dog friendly, not stroller friendly, ID a good idea in case it’s cold out or water is coming from the sky.
Aloha fair Los Anchoraginos. Aurora H3 is hosting their last trail before winter sets in this cumming Sunday. Roofie Le Toit has invited each and every one of us to try to catch his vaguely bearded ass. Trail is starting at the Oasis Lounge (734 University Ave, Fairbanks, Alaska 99709) at 10:00. Brunch to follow trail.
As an added bonus for any race-ists out there, the Equinox Marathon will be on Saturday at UAF at 08:00.
Hangover Trail for the Equinox Marathon.
WHO: All Hashers Everywhere
WHAT: Hangover Trail (will be less than 26.2 miles)
WHY: Fuck you, that’s why
HARE: Roofie Le Toit
WHERE: The Oasis (now smoke free!) so we can have food after.
BRING: $5 Hash Cash, Virgins you picked up, and new shoes that you bought during the race.
No idea what time DOA is leaving Anchorage. I’ll be headed up around 15:00 Friday with two open berths. Crash space should be negotiated directly with a Fairbankian!
And now, a message from your hares: “YOU MUST HAVE ID!!! Not dog or stroller friendly. Dry bag might be a good idea. Bring enough for you and a friend. Bring a book. Bring whips and chains. Bring your piña coladas and get caught in the rain. Bring a baseball bat and a blind fold. Don’t forget your towel.”
WHO: Donnie the Retard and Long Story Short Dick
WHAT: Timeout Lounge 4600 Old Seward Highway https://goo.gl/maps/AfU6dL85bQx
WHEN: Saturday 2 September 13:00 HA 13:30
WHERE: Shit, fucked that one up
A-?, No dog/stroller. ID Required. Hash Cash $5
This one’s a gem! Circle gets the square: This trail is a diamond. The RA has guaranteed weather so get your ass out to the field. Bring your running shoes for some 80′ sprints and a beer drinking hand, cause we’re playing sloshball. At least two teams will be chosen for a down-down take all game of beer in hand regulation sized ball game of kick ball.
WHO: Dr. Penis Venkman
WHAT: B2 121 Sloshball
WHEN: Saturday 22 July 2017 @ 13:00; Team selection at 13:30
WHERE: The tiny field in Campbell Park https://goo.gl/maps/gpMKyoUnxoG2
PARK HERE: https://goo.gl/maps/cNhtve6Lvq32
WHY: Because you have something better to do than enjoy a day in the park?
Trail is A-A, Dog, Stroller, kid friends. Hash Cash is $5 which gets you all the beer in the cooler, but since we’re going to be not moving, and you must have a beer in hand at all times, bring a sixer to help out.
The Fox seems like an inevitable on-after.
This year for International Fairy Day… (you do remember what we did last year yah?) Hi Falutin’ Pussy and Mr. Gere’s Finger Puppet are leading us some place magical. There have been promises of fairy rings and fairy toad stools and fairy beers for all us half minded fairies on trail. Put on your silkiest wings or Bottom costume for a shiggy stroll through woods.
WHO: Hi Falutin’ Pussy and Mr. Gere’s Finger Puppet
WHAT: B2 120: A Midsummer Night’s Fairy
WHEN: Saturday 24 June 13:00 (Hares at 1330)
WHERE: Connor’s Lake at the corner of International and Jewel Lake
WHY: heh. I said Bottom
A-A. Maybe too dog friendly. WEAR LOTS OF BUG DOPE. Hash Cash is $5
Aloha! As you are all aware, IT’S SUMMER IN ALASKA! That means everyone is about to fuck off into the wild until first snow (only 10 weeks away!). Since we have been tracking your attendance for years and calculating where you are traveling to (local spikes in beer consumption), the scientistific half-minds that brought you B2 have determined that to maximize summer hashing potential, the next hash will travel to where you’re already going to be!
WHAT: B2 116 – Ninilchik Open Her
WHEN: Saturday 27 May 2017 – Evening after the fishing trip
WHERE: Ninilchik (Directions below)
WHY: Because it’s Memorial Day Weekend and the King Opener is Sunday.
Trail will be A-A, Dog friendly, no strollers. No hash cash.
If you’re going to camp, there’s a $10 fee PER PERSON. If you want to fish Sunday for the opener, get your fishing license and a king stamp. Even if you don’t want to fish, get one so someone else can catch for you. (Nudge nudge wink wink).
If you want to go clamming Saturday, talk to Software or Lost and Found. There’s one spot available right now.
Otherwise bring your bug dope, your fat bike, and a place to sleep for an Alaskan beach blanket bingo party.
DIRECTIONS: Directions to the charter and cabins. Mile 141.3 of the sterling hwy – 3 miles past Deep Creek launch. Rt side of the road or bluff side. Ninilchik, AK. The site is rented for Saturday and Sunday.
Your hare, Grannies and Trannies, Oh My! says:
Trail starts at Hillside parking lot... Usual time. 1pm. Hares are gay 130. Saturday. 5 dollars hash cash. Its the Bear Bottom Bourbon Beer Bratwurst Bikini Barbecue Hash. Bag vehicle provided. bring a bag but not your airport suitcase.(change of shoes recommended). Maybe bear spray… A to a’ BYOC (chair for the barbeque)
WHAT: B2 115
WHEN: Saturday 13 April 2017 1300 HA: 1330
WHERE: Hillside Park off Abbot https://goo.gl/maps/cqDHwLvPX5T2
WHY: Because GTO wants to give every one a free blowjob to celebrate His Cheetoness’ new position as Uncle Vlad’s cockholster.
Huzzah and congratulations to Cock-tistic (née George Emily), our newest member, who was spontaneously named at trail yesterday.
Buy her a beer and ask how she got her name!
What we thought was going to happen
What actually happened