B2H3 #96: Swill Team Six @ Camp Hash

B2H3, in the finest of half-minded and half thought through plans, is hosting* a Swill Team Six mission at A2’s Camp Hash.  Think the Go Ruck challenge for hashers.  Since we’re hashers we’re not going to so much encourage jock-strapping as aggressively pretend we’re doing something difficult.**

Banana Nut Bred, still so fresh and so clean from Best Korea that he’s sweating soju, will be haring a trail bad ass enough to whip even the most limp egg whites into stiff peaks.  The mission load out is this:

  • 6 beers (BYOB),
  • something to carry the beers in, OR
  • a roll of duct tape (Obviously this is a typo, a roll of duct tape should never be optional)

WHO: Banana Nut Bred, all of A2
WHAT: B2H3 #96 at Camp Hash – SWILL TEAM SIX
WHEN: Saturday 20 August 2016 @ 0hungover thirty; Hare away sometime before hash o’limpdicks – possibly around 10:00
WHERE: A2H3 Camp Hash near Hope
WHY: No guts, no glory!  For the soju!

Trail is A-A, not stroller friendly, well behaved dogs, NO ID, NO HASH CASH

* Hosting is such a strong word.  It’s much more like someone had a better idea and we’re trying to take credit for it.

** Except for when we do and then just pretend we’re doing it ironically.


Raceist Radio Callout

We’ve all tried to forget that 24 in 24 was a thing, but one of our raceists got a shout-out in an ultra-runner podcast recently. During Episode 34 of Ten Junk Miles, going Down On A bull moose was mentioned by his mortal name at around the 59-minute mark. They gave him kudos for his 35-mile “long run.” If only they knew the half of it…

If you’d like to listen to the episode, you can visit site and download a copy here: http://tenjunkmiles.com/episodes.html

B2H3 95 Donnie the Explora

Oh Donnie.  Trailus well markus.  Bearus no maulus.  Mudflats no emergency extractus.  Mosquitos no malarius.  Moosus no molestus.  Homeowner no shootus.  May he run us through shiggy like diarrhea warmly exploding all over our legs.

WHO: Donnie the Retard
WHAT: B2H3 95th trail – Donnie Does Deep South Anchorage
WHEN: Saturday 6 August 13:00 – Hare away 13:30
WHERE: Johns Park – 313 Bree Ave https://goo.gl/maps/4xzFxFKc3YL2
WHY: Because Donnie knows how to find new trails for your enjoyment!

Trail is A-A.1, No ID, WELL BEHAVED DOGS, Shiggy guaranteed.  Hash Cash is only $5.

B2 patches available at trail or shipped to you  https://squareup.com/store/b2h3/


B2H3 92nd Run – Hare School!

Aloha to all the inexperienced but enthusiastic (dare I say virginal) hares out there.  Too timid to jump in with both feet, but you still need to pop your haring cherry?  Wish there was a way to just dip your toe in the stream with being completely responsible for the pack’s enjoyment (and fearful of incurring their wrath with a s-h-i-t-t-y trail)?

Come out to HARE SCHOOL!  It’s a fun, safe, and (optionally) clean way of getting a little live action trail laying.

This is how it goes:
YOU are given a bottle of flour, a beer, and a timer.  You will run out to set an A-A trail for 15 minutes.  When you get back, the entire pack will follow your trail.  You will stay at the back of the pack AND KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT.  Watch them fuck up your perfectly laid trail, lay the blame on you feet, and curse your name.  You will learn that those perfectly clear marks you thought you were putting down got blown away, were too small to see, were too hidden for a pack that small, etc.  You will also learn that no matter how good a job you thought you did, the pack gets more and more half-minded the more beer you leave for them.  Once the pack gets back, we’ll do a mini circle, take a little bit of constructive criticism, then do the whole thing again with another hare.

WHO: You!
WHAT: 92nd Running – Hare School
WHEN: Saturday 23 July 2016 13:00 – Hares 13:20ish, 14:20ish, 15:00ish, etc.WHERE: Kincaid Park – Raspberry Road Parking Lot https://goo.gl/maps/HuSaUsxRfzp
WHY: Because there is nothing better than tearing ass around the woods chasing bears and drinking moderately warm beer

A-A; NO ID, MAYBE Strollers; DOGS ON LEASHES; Hash Cash $5

Words for 24/24

Congratulations to all the intrepid half-minds who boldly charged into 24 Trails in 24 Hours.  10 Hashers told their friends they were cumming, 15  showed up throughout the night.  Three hashers were either so committed, so drunk, or just to crazy to quit – going Down On A bull moose, Unnecessary Penetration, and Low Key ran the entire trail – clocking 35 miles.  Good job you ultra race-ists.  Uncle Bondage managed to stay alive for the entire event by strategically “supporting the event” driving the Shag Wagon during the longest legs.  He may have been spotted napping during his “support” legs.

Thanks to all the hares: DOA (twice!), Uncle B, Colorado Steamer, Unnecessary Penetration, Just Heather, Red Blood Gives You Wings!, Just Alyssa, Matthew McKindaGay, and Subaru nmy HUHU. Rumors of Dr. Penis Venkman and Low Key snaring Uncle Bondage, may or may not be true, but one thing is certain – Just Mickey (woof) accidentally hared trail 3 with Uncle B.

Double special thanks to Matthew, Red Blood, and Subaru for showing up with food, and hot bevvys.  Once the rain set in y’all kept everyone’s spirits up and let us keep going.

Thanks for making another incredibly dumb B2 event a success!

B2H3 24 Trails 24 Hours

Harriers and Harriettes!  It’s solstice – the longest day of the year.  To celebrate we’re going to abuse all of the midnight sun, our legs, and likely our livers.  That’s right – 24 Trails in 24 Hours.  What kind of madness is that you say?  Starting at 10 am Saturday trails will be set every few hours though out the day and night until 10 am Sunday (when the bars open).

$48 bucks gets you all the trails, a sweet patch, absurd bragging rights, beer, food, water, and 24-48 miles of sweet Alaskan shiggy!  REGO here https://squareup.com/store/b2h3/

What if I’m not an ultrarace-ist bastard? 
No problem!  We have hard starts every 3 hours, the locations of which are published here http://bearbottomhashhouseharriers.com/24-in-24/  Come on out for a regular length trail a mini circle and show support for the half-minds. All trails are A-B.  Hash Cash is only $5 per trail.

Why aren’t we doing something special for the solstice trail?
I’m so glad you asked that!  It won’t actually be the solstice, but you’re only going to be 10 minutes of day light off by the weekend.  At 22:00 there will be a Solstish Trail leaving out of Beer Can/Little Campbell Lake.  Trail will be A-A with food served at the end.  This happens to coincide with the 12 hour mark for the ultra-halfminds and they’re going to need to recharge.  Hash Cash for this trail is $10.

All these pricing schemes… so complicated.
Not really.  If you want to do the whole thing, pay the full rego – get the patch.
If you want to run a regular trail – show up and pay hash cash just like normal.  The Solstish Trail is more expensive because you’re getting food.  You don’t need to pre-rego – just show up and pay hash cash.

What can I do to help out?
Come to MisMan tomorrow and we’ll get you sorted.  We still need hares from Point Woronzof at 0100 and Westchester Lagoon at 0700.

B2H3 66 Drill Weekend

Harriers, harriettes, and half-minds: our dearest brother Fucking Jewed Us screwed up in a new and interesting way. He volunteered to hare (yah!!!) but didn’t realize that he DOES NOT actually have drill. He’s actually going to follow through and set up a trail (not in the hills). Bring your pipes for singing some cheer to the muggles.

WHO: Does The Finger Count?
WHAT: B2 66 Drill Weekend Trail
WHEN: Saturday 11 June – 1300 hare away 1330
WHERE: 4781 Elmore Rd (Softball fields
WHY: Summer running! Singing! Balls in the air!

A-A.  Dogs – yes with a leash. Stroller NO. ID possible indoor circle depending on the weather.

Hash cash is always $5

Welcum Sister Hasher

Congratulations and welcum the freshly minted Colorado Steamer (née George Corine) 

B2H3 65 Blood replacement? You’ve Been Fucked!

Aloha hookers!  It was a bit of a loose carry but we’re on the full with details for this weeks trail! The hares have a prepared a bit of a show and go whilst mounting a typical umbrella defense to the pack’s scramble.  It’s the RA’s call whether they’re offsides or if they get to knock-on. Regardless, there’s always time for the in and out before they take a proper facial.

WHO: Rush Gumballz & Long Story Short Dick
WHAT: B2 #65 – Blood replacement? YBF
WHEN: Saturday 28 May 2016 – 13:00 – HA 13:30
WHERE: Davis Park (Chalet) in Mountain View
WHY: Because someone is going to get a special prize if they figure out what that mess above is on about.

A-A – Dogs/Strollers at your own risk – ID YES – Be prepared for a Rush Trail – Hash Cash is $5

31 MAY IS THE LAST DAY TO REGO FOR THE CHEAP RATE FOR 24/24! Price doubles to $48 on 1 June.  Rego early – rego often! https://squareup.com/store/b2h3/

B2H3 #64 ASS Invades SF

Coming to you from the Special ASS Invasion section of Hash Alaska, a collection of half-minds are going down (on her) to San Francisco for the 69th Bay to Blackout Hash hosted by SFH3, Gypsies in the Palace H3, FMH3, Fog City H3, EBH3, Barrrrbary Coast H3, and BARH3.  It also happens that the 104th Bay to Breakers foot race across San Francisco is happening at the same time.  It was incredibly generous of the Bay Area kennels to allow the race-ists to share their special day and name.  I’m sure it has everything to do with the founding principles of hashing: to promote physical fitness, to acquire a great thirst and satisfy it with beer, to work off the weekend hangover, and to make  members feel not as old as they are.

WHO: YOU and other members of B2H3, A2H3, AuroraH3
WHAT: ASS Invasion of Bay to Blackout

  • 13 May Kiss My Shiny Metal Ass – Let’s go on a Bender
  • 14 May – Don’t Probe me Bro! UFOs and Alien Ho’s
  • 15 May – Star Whores Episode LXIX: The Foursome Awakens

WHERE: San Francisco! http://sfh3.com/sections/9/pages/71
WHY: Why am I still answering this question?  There’s an ASS to invade!

Hopefully A2H3 will reprise of their shitty Thursday Night Trail which sent off the intrepid assplorers last year.  It was AMAZING!

Fine print: There is no B2 trail scheduled in Anchorage this weekend.  If someone wants to host one, DO IT!  I’m not your supervisor.